The Orange Rhino

Hi. My name is Missy, and I’m a yeller.

I’ve always been a yeller. I yell to my kids and at my kids. My voice raises when I become irritated and frustrated. I grew up with parents who were yellers, and unfortunately the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

With my kids homeschooling and being around all day there are definitely times when they get on my nerves and  get on each other’s nerves. I’ve been yelling a lot. I don’t like it, my kids don’t like it, and it isn’t really constructive for any of us.

A couple months ago, I came across a link to The Orange Rhino Challenge. The name intrigued me, but what interested me even further was the concept of yelling less and loving more. I love my kids. I mean, I crazy love them, but me yelling at them isn’t a loving gesture. I don’t ever want them to think that I don’t love them as much as I do. 

After a particularly hard week last week, I really started looking at The Orange Rhino Challenge. It’s easy to say, “I’m not ever going to yell at my kids again,” but in reality it’s not that simple. How do you break that cycle? Where do I start? What do I do when I feel the yelling starting? 

I also wanted to learn what to do in place of yelling…how do I get my kids’ attention?

The genius behind The Orange Rhino, an anonymous SAHM of 4 boys, has all these bases covered. She gives steps on how to get started under Take The Challenge tab, and there are 100 alternatives to yelling under the Orange Rhino Tips tab.

To make it even easier to start the challenge, the author has created a Tracking My Triggers sheet to find out what sets you off and even a 12 Steps to Stop Yelling at Your Kids post. 

To follow her getting started tip #3, I’m making my public goals announcement here: 

  • I will track my yelling and my triggers for the rest of this week. 
  • Next week I’ll yell 50% less than this week using the alternatives given.
  • Week three will be my first no-yell week-7 days of no yelling. 
  • If I do yell during week three, I’ll have to start my 7 days over. 
  • I’ll revisit my goals after those three weeks, and create new ones. 

I’m reminded that no matter how long you’ve been a parent (over 15 years for me), there’s always room for improvement. I don’t want to be a good parent to my kids, I want to be a GREAT parent. They want to have a great one too. 

  Would you take The Orange Rhino Challenge with me? I’d love to have someone to share this with. 

Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

This is not a sponsored post. I simply want my kids to know I love them as much as I do and to communicate with them in a more loving way. 

 

 

36 thoughts on “The Orange Rhino

    • Thank you for stopping by Jill. Look around the Orange Rhino site. There is literally a step by step plan to help stop yelling (or at least cut it down quite a bit) along with lots of things to do instead of yelling.

  1. Hi, Missy
    There is a time for me yelling to my kids, it has already been reduced a lot. However, I am really amazed that you find some way that might make me better again. Thanks a million for sharing

  2. This is nice. I am a yeller also but only when I am pushed to that point which is not often but it happens. I am so glad I get a few hours of peace in the mornings when kids are in school it has helped me tremendously to be more calmer.
    Kita recently posted…Women with SolutionsMy Profile

  3. I’ve been yelling more lately…4-year-olds can be a trying bunch! lol. This is such a great challenge because even if you can’t complete it 100%, you will still become more aware and more creative in ways to get your children listening. Good luck and keep us updated on how it goes!
    Emma recently posted…Pond Sensory TableMy Profile

    • Thanks for commenting Michelle. You’re kids are about the same age difference as my first three so I can definitely understand. There are some great tips on how to get your kids’ attention without yelling on the Tips page.

  4. I had to LOL when I read, “I’m a yeller.” I am too. I tell my mom this and she’ll tell me, “I was a yeller too.” Yes, genetics + environment = future yellers. I don’t want to be a yeller. I do work on this but maybe a challenge, a goal, would be even better. I do apologize to my kiddo when I yell, though not for the consequence or discipline, just for the yelling, because I want him to know that I don’t think losing my cool was the right thing. I also think a part of teaching forgiveness is asking for forgiveness. Anyway, I like this idea and I may try it too.
    Stephanie @ From the Burbs to the Boonies recently posted…Small Town Tuesday: Country cook-outMy Profile

    • I have apologized to my kids a million and one times. I think a parent having the humility to apologize to her child teaches that child a whole lot more than the, “I’m right, deal with it” attitude I grew up with. I now Peanut puts me in my place regularly by saying, “Mama, I love you even if you yell at me.”

    • 7 kids in 9 years? I believe I’d be yelling too. Seriously though, I hate it too. I’m glad you saw the post. Let me know how you do, will you?

  5. Wow! I have never heard about the challenge before, but I think it is a really great thing. It’s so easy to get frustrated and raise our voices. When… really… we should be showing a better example than that! Thanks for the reminder and good luck with the challenge!
    Jessica recently posted…Try Out Apps and Earn $$!!My Profile

  6. Best of luck on this challenge! I may check it out and start it some time. Vacation is coming up and I don’t anticipate having to do much yelling at that point. I too, am a yeller and on one hand, I’d love to stop. On the other hand, often times that seems to be the most effective thing that makes my kids respond. Like “Oh shit, she’s serious now”
    Rhonda @Wine-y-Wife recently posted…Ketchup, Catsup, Catch up on CondimentsMy Profile

    • I can completely understand what you’re saying. Normally, a little yelling goes a long way. Lately though with them around all the time, I feel I am yelling more and more and it falls on deaf ears. Time to switch it up ;)

  7. I can’t join you because I’m not a yeller, but look forward to hearing how you do. Keep us posted. I’m not a yeller, I’m a stew-er. I hold it all inside and it builds up to the point where I want to explode, but then I still don’t yell. I guess you could say I just pout and get nasty! The problem with stew-ers is that they hold on to their anger a lot longer. My son and I are stew-ers and we like to go into hiding. My daughter and my husband are yellers. They can yell and be quite mean, but it’s all over in a matter of 15 minutes and then they act like nothing ever happened. It drives me nuts. They are all happy and loving 30 minutes after their tantrum and I’m still reeling and feeling hurt for two days from all their yelling. Even if it wasn’t at me! People are so different. It takes all kinds, I guess. Another great book you might have read is The Five Love Languages. I think this is the book that talks about filling or depleting your emotional bank. When the bank is low or empty, you just don’t function as well. Plus, if you understand family members love languages, you understand how they react to you better. And if they understand yours, they can fill you bank account better. Good luck on your challenge. I’m sure you’ll do great. Just being aware of the problem is half the battle.
    Shawn recently posted…Clouds and BlendersMy Profile

    • My husband and I read that book even before we got married. It’s one of our favorites. We’ve found that our love languages have changed with age, so it’s good advice to revisit it again.
      I can be a stewer too. Ugh. Personalities are so difficult!

  8. Oh, thanks for the link, I’ll definitely go and check it and will probably join you in the challenge.
    I tend to yell too – though much less now after reading (again) Buddhism for mothers by Sarah Naphtali. I find I yell much less when I’m not tired… so I need to find ways to sleep more…
    Pheeebzzz recently posted…Celui avec le stageMy Profile

    • Hi Phoebe! I’m so glad you stopped by today. I’m trying to figure out your blog through translations and sometimes it’s hard for me. Perhaps I should just learn to read French?
      I will look into that book. I would be a better mother if I was a much more calm mother, and I do have issues with sleeping so poor sleep probably contributes to my yelling as well.

      • I’ve contemplated the idea to also blog in English, but it’s really very frustrating for me to try and write in a language that’s not mine : words don’t flow at all !
        Thanks for regularly stopping by, I really appreciate that, especially since it’s not that easy to figure it out with the translations.
        Pheeebzzz recently posted…Celui avec le stageMy Profile

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